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January 2016

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Small Fish Big Pond or Big Fish Small Pond

Which is better, to be a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond? Most of us have probably been in both situations at some time. Malcolm Gladwell’s book David and Goliath discusses the Big-Fish-Little-Pond Effect in several contexts. Basically, the theory says that it is better to be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond. Gladwell give the example of the late 19th century Impressionist painters (Monet, Degas, Cezanne, Pizzaro, Renoir, Sisley), who were the little fish repeatedly spurned by the prestigious and highly competitive Paris Salon (the big pond). Instead of letting the rejection derail their movement, they decided to have their own smaller exhibition, and eventually, their art became the most desirable art movement of all time, today collectively worth billions. They decided to be big fish in a little pond and it worked for them.

The little fish in a big pond struggles to perform, to learn something way too hard, to compete with the big guys on their playing field, resulting in much frustration and rejection. If you were ever one of the last ones picked for the team, you know how you really wanted to just disappear. The harder you tried, the worse off you were because you knew the deck was stacked against you and it was a no-win deal. You arms are too short, you can’t get that math concept, you can’t reach that high note without a screech. We all can name some “I can’t”s, the source of past and maybe even lingering emotional pain. On rare occasion it prompts dogged perseverance until that thing is conquered, but more often, it ends up in defeat and surrender. If you are the little fish in a big pond, you need to get out of the ocean and find a smaller pond. You find that you will suddenly become a whole lot bigger with the support of fellow fish.

The other extreme, being the biggest fish in a small pond amid a lot of little fish, means that you always have to be on your game. No failures are allowed. What would happen to your reputation if you messed up more than the one time that everyone can excuse. You need to continuously do something bigger and better to impress the rest. If you are that oversized fish and it’s overcrowded, you need to find a larger pond to be both successful and challenged.

Successful living is finding the right size pond for what you are called to do or want to accomplish. If you are a little fish in a big pond, you risk feeling unimportant and invisible. If you are too big for your pond, you end up hurting the little fish in order to stay on top of the food chain. It reminds me of the story of Goldilocks and the three bears—the chair was not too little, not too big, just the right size.

I thought about all of this fishy business as it relates to church life. Let’s remove competition here, even though it would be naive to say churches don’t have competition. Some people prefer megachurches (big pond) because they can attend without having to commit to anything. They like the anonymity (little fish in a big pond). However, this really amounts to being a weekly tourist. It’s harder to “blend into the crowd” in a small church. You may gain anonymity, but it is at the cost of the motivation to move toward your destiny. The Church is intended to be a community, a pond where the fish can thrive. Large churches typically have many opportunities for small group ministries (a smaller pond) and usually encourage people to join one or more. Small churches by virtue of their size have space for fish to grow and multiply.

The pond is not only about physical size. It’s also a metaphor for your sphere of influence. The Big-Fish-Little-Pond Effect works here too. We each have a circle of influence—people we can touch with the gospel and blessing. It’s our pond. If we are the little fish in the big pond, we have no influence. Small fish have no voice in a huge pond. If you are a great big fish, your influence is proportionately larger and the influence in broader. It is in our right size pond that we have the greatest effectiveness.

Should we all strive to become big fish in a big pond? Better than striving for size, we should be striving to become what God has designed us to be and to swim in the pond He has for us. He may send us to a new pond now and then, one larger or smaller than where we are, but then again, He may not. Some are called to swim in the same pond for a very long time to help new little fish grow. “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a dragnet cast into the sea, and gathering fish of every kind” (Matt. 13:47). God has a huge variety of fish and ponds, and has a just-right one for each of us.

 

 

Copyright 2016 by Eva Benevento.

All rights reserved.

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4 Habits That Hinder Growth

Snowmaggedon! A snowstorm is coming in two days to the Northeast. Milk and bread are flying off the supermarket shelves. It’s as if milk and bread will become extinct commodities forever. This peculiar behavior goes on every time a snowstorm blows through. Every winter claims at least one major snowstorm, so supermarket owners are happy purveyors as their shelves are emptied. Pavlov would be smiling at this predictable stimulus-response behavior.

We are such creatures of habit. So many everyday things are done without thought by merely the stimulus of routine. Oh, but routine is a good thing, especially for keeping one’s life in some semblance of order and predictability. The down side of habitual behavior is when it gets in the way of individual and/or church growth. Here are some examples.

  1. Sit in the same section every Sunday.

You’ve staked out your territory and marked your place. Nobody better even think about taking your space without the risk of sidelong glares or rolled eyes. Imagine the unaware newbies who plopped in the pew of Brother and Sister So-and-So and who now notice tense body language of people around them. Do you think they are likely to return?

Try sitting in different locations each time. You will find new perspectives and even meet new people as you change your seating.

  1. Hang out with the same people after the service.

I’ve noticed that people tend to group together with their family members and same friends week after week. Small cliques are formed and the vibe says to visitors, “You are really not welcome to return, even though you were greeted with a handshake and a smile and filled out the visitor’s card.”

Take a risk and reach out to people with whom you don’t usually converse. Make it a point to introduce yourself and engage in conversation with someone new to the church. You will find some new acquaintances that may evolve into deep friendships. You may even be the answer to their prayers.

  1. Read only certain passages, books, or sections of Scripture.

You are comfortable in reading the gospels and epistles. Every now and then you venture into Psalms or one of the Old Testament stories of the likes of Moses, but Jeremiah is a huge stretch. You claim that Revelation and many of the Old Testament books are too difficult and even somewhat scary, and so you avoid them. It would mean some serious effort and study.

Don’t let pride stop you from personal growth. Ask for resources to help you venture into those places in God’s Word that you perceive to be difficult. More than likely others you know have the same need and would love to journey into the new turf with you.

  1. Pray the same prayers over and over.

Like the automated messages on phone menus, you have a stock of prayers for every occasion. You repeat the same words over your food when asked to bless the meal, and the words tumble off your lips like reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

Take a breather from fear, thinking you want to sound reasonably intelligent and holy, and give your attention to the One to whom you are talking—the Lord. Prayer is a conversation with God—giving him praise, thanks, adoration; presenting petitions to Him; expressing your faith in His Words on the matter; and the other side of the conversation—hearing from God. Remain open to His voice and hear what He has to say. It might amaze you.

And while you are at it, keep a loaf of bread in the freezer and some emergency powdered milk in the pantry for weekends like this. Relax and enjoy the beauty of a fresh snowfall before the plows shove piles along the curb and do something different just for the fun of it.

 

Copyright 2016 by Eva Benevento.

All rights reserved.

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Musings by /

To Read Or Not To Read

I just read a New York Times review of Carly Simon’s autobiography, which I will not read based on the information already revealed in the review, a book that appears to be not much more than a memorialization of her sordid past. I have no curiosity about the debauchery in her not-so-perfect-but-very-rich upbringing as the daughter of Simon, as in Simon and Schuster publishing fame, and her rise to fame among sleazy luminaries in the music business. It’s certainly sad enough that she had such a past, but plastering it all over the literary world goes beyond therapy. Sorry, Carly, I won’t be logging on to amazon for it, but I have no doubt thousands of copies will be sold and my non-purchase will never be noticed or felt.

The book review, regardless of the decision to pass on the purchase, did set off my mind thinking about why people like to read about other people’s lives. I, too, enjoy reading a good biography where a real-life person perseveres and overcomes great odds. In fact, I’m just finishing an amazingly well researched but tastefully written biography of Houdini, a far departure from my usual reading tastes. It’s the stuff of heroes and lunatics.

Why are celebrities of every ilk willing to publish “tell all” books? Is it to feed the insatiable public hunger for the details of their dirty laundry that might once more propel them into the limelight when their star begins to fade? Are they attempting to purge the guilt of a backstory of willing degradation exchanged at the cost of fame perhaps urged by a therapist? Is it an attempt to absolve themselves as victims of power brokers cast as promulgators of the seven deadly sins? Is it a triumphal procession comparable to that of Julius Caesar upon vanguishing Gaul that shouts, “Vini, vidi, vici” –“I came, I saw, I conquered”—to the astonishment of all who “knew them when” and are duly impressed because they would have never imagined it? We really don’t know, but hey, it might be as simple as producing revenue.

This leads me to the point of the biblical stories of the heroes of faith. We read them time and again and study them word for word. Why do we do this? Are we vicariously experiencing their triumphs in our imaginations? Why would God want us to know the stories of people who lived in a time and place totally foreign to today’s world? I would argue that Bible stories serve a much broader and greater purpose that that of celebrity tell-alls or the story line for the next epic movie.

Here are some possibilities:

  1. We teach them to our children as inspiration. The stories tell of how God interacts with humans, revealing His character and glory. We use them as moral lessons of when and how to do the right thing in the same way the ancients taught fables to their “younguns.”
  2. Retelling the stories connects us with our past—the good and the not-so-good. We live in the present and look towards a future, but the past defines us and shapes our understanding of the stuff of which we are made. The past tells us that others have felt and done what we are feeling and doing, and even more so, the possible outcomes. Because they are stories of real people, they reveal human nature at its best and worst, but they don’t give scintillating and smutty details that only serve to glorify sin and have no redemptive value. The stories of biblical people serve as a guidepost for the outcomes of action and what God thinks about them.
  3. In our deep studying, we parse every word because they are divinely inspired and we search the mind of God in them. The words come alive and bring revelation of wisdom from the heavenlies. We read the same portion a gazillion times and each time a new insight is revealed. “I never saw that before,” is the “Aha!” moment happening again and again. Indeed, it is a living word.
  4. The stories bring comfort and affirmation in times of trouble. They bring hope to hard situations of life—and death. The story of Gideon tells us that God can use the least likely to do amazing thing when we hear and obey. The story of Samson records the final victory of a man who is willing to once more rise up in righteousness despite sin and failure. The story of Ruth tells of God’s provision in the face of the impossible. The trials and testimony of Paul tell of a man willing to lay down his life for the gospel. I could go on, but you get the idea. These stories are ones where hope and faith triumph at times when life seems so dark. These stories reveal the innumerable characteristics of a God intimately involved in the lives of His creation.

I will read the stories in my Bible many more times for just these reasons and maybe some others. I will continue to underline words that pop out at me. My dad’s old Bible has more underlings than not. It even has underlings of underlings. I will continue to highlight in yellow. Maybe one day the pages will be all yellow and I will have to use pink. I will also continue write little notes in the margins of things I notice. That’s what we do, but why we do it has all to do with the voice of God that speaks through the words. Selah!

 

 

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Is your relationship with intercession spiritually healthy?

I’ve been thinking about supplication—the asking kind of prayer, a type of intercession. Whole ministries are dedicated to intercession in many churches where intercessors have finally achieved recognition and status as a church department. The argument for having an intercessory prayer team is pretty strong, so shouldn’t we take advantage of these willing souls storming the spiritual world on our behalf? After all, aren’t believers instructed to pray for others?

Intercessory Prayer as a church ministry, however, can be confusing and misunderstood. These teams have been variously touted as the powerhouse of heavenly anointing, the go-to team for unloading one’s troubles, the stormtroopers against demonic threats, and a strategic force for achieving victory. When operating with integrity, well-grounded in the Word of God, and humility, it can be all of these and highly effective.

In the worst case scenario, it’s a source of glorified gossip, a dumping ground for people who can’t seem to find purpose in church, or a place for eccentric personalities that are attracted to behavior that is downright weird. Nobody starts out with the intention of starting a group that borders on the bizarre, but it happens when its members are not firmly grounded in God’s Word and rely more on how people feel or their current “inspiration” without biblical discernment.

The nature of contact with the spiritual world can look a bit strange and the world of intercessory prayer groups can be an easy target of the enemy to create havoc. I have seen individuals that are overzealous-and-not-so-well-grounded, but have good intentions, run with ideas that are of the flesh and wacky. Flaky stuff rides out its popularity and then eventually dies out. It’s a good thing God is not so easily offended. But let’s assume that’s not the case in your church community.

  1. What does a spiritually healthy relationship with intercession look like?

Besides supplication (a form of intersession that involves asking God for something), intercession is often described as “standing in the gap” on behalf of someone else (Ezek. 22:30). It’s a common enough phrase, but what is the gap, who is in it, and what are the two sides? I’ve heard people “pray” as if God is holding out on people and they plead for God to intervene or impose on someone’s free will—not likely to happen. It’s as if the intercessor is standing in between God and the person staving off God’s anger with pleading. Yet God’s Word says that God’s mercy is new every day, His gospel of grace is available to all, and His love never fails.

The gospel message is that of love and grace extended to humanity, but it never compromises someone’s free will, nor does it present God as a tightwad doling out blessings on a whim that requires pleading and fasting to move His hand. Nothing could be farther from truth. So, the kind of “prayer” that asks God to force another person to believe or that someone’s misfortune is somehow God’s divine will is completely misdirected.

What, then, is the gap? Is the gap between the demonic realm and the person? What does Scripture have to say? Yes, we really do have an enemy, and it is not God (Eph. 6:12, 1 John 5:19). We have been given power (dunamis) and authority in the Name of Jesus to put the enemy to flight (Matthew 28:17-19, Mark 16:17, John 14:13–14, Acts 1:8). So, yes we do stand in the gap between the enemy and another for deliverance as we drive out the enemy with the Word of God and the authority of Jesus’ Name. I prefer to call it what it is—deliverance, not prayer, because I see prayer as communication between people and God.

  1. Are you outsourcing prayer* to intercessory groups and relinquishing your individual communication with God because it requires commitment you may not be willing to give?

The word “outsourcing” is usually about as welcome as foot fungus. It means loss of jobs and customer service agents speaking unintelligible English only after pressing a seeming endless series of numbers to get to a live voice. Outsourcing is when you subcontract labor outside your business to do work you don’t want to do or to lower cost for the labor by people willing to do it for less money. The whole point is that it decreases the cost of doing business, thereby increasing the bottom line. Considering the consumer frustrations related to outsourcing, it’s a wonder that the net effect of customer loss is not higher than it is. Is this what we are doing with intercession?

Being a Christian is all about getting to know God more each day. We find out about God in His Word and in the “secret place” where we fellowship with Him. We develop our story with God as we believe His Word and see the works of His hand in our victories.

Completely giving over our concerns and needs for others to bear is abdicating our privilege to speak to God and hear from Him for ourselves. Yes, there is a place for asking others to stand with you for strength, especially when you feel weak, but it is not a replacement for your relationship and communion with God. We need both—a personal prayer life and a communal prayer life.

  1. Does the intercessory group have some special insider practice or connection to the heavens that the rest of us don’t have?

Scripture speaks of function gifts to the body of Christ—pastor, teacher, apostle, prophet, evangelist, administrator, deacon, bishop. Intercessor is not on the list. It is not a special function for a select gifted individual. They do not have a special hotline to heaven that is inaccessible by other believers. Intercession is for all believers, but some believers understand prayer better and give themselves to praying for others more so than others. These are the prayer partners that join with you in faith and expectation for effectiveness in their prayer.

  1. Do you ask others for prayer in hopes that someone else’s prayers will be heard because you think they are more “anointed” or their prayers more powerful?

The authority in prayer, deliverance, and declaration given by Jesus is for all believers. Furthermore, because a person uses eloquent language in their public prayer does not guarantee their prayer is effective. We should never be intimidated by the fact that someone else can pray with eloquent passion. A simple prayer that is faith-filled and anchored in God’s Word is highly effective. Prayer is an issue of faith (James 5:15), whether or not expressive language is used .

  1. Is more better?

Does asking for the same thing over and over or adding more people amount to nothing more than sustained unbelief*? God does not demand us to beg for His grace and mercy over and over just in case He didn’t hear. How many times should you ask God for the same thing? Isaiah 43:25–26 NASB says, “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, 
And I will not remember your sins. Put Me in remembrance, let us argue our case together;
 State your cause, that you may be proved right.” Putting God in remembrance of His Word and the many times He has come through for you is not because God forgets. It is because we forget and need to remind ourselves of His faithfulness and promises. So, when we “pray through” to victory, we repeat, declare, and confess is His Word on the matter, not pleading or begging. It is the fuel that feeds our faith.

So, what is the point of prayer and intercession?

Prayer is a conversation with God that may include such things as giving thanks, expressing adoration, and bearing one’s soul of concerns to our Creator. It may include making requests on behalf of someone else (supplication—a form of intercession)—healing, deliverance, mercy, and the like. God invites us to ask of Him in faith believing that what He has promised, He shall deliver. That of course, requires us to know what God has promised. So as not to be confused, intercession that is not prayer per se may involve deliverance and declarations of God’s Word into the spiritual world.

Prayer is also hearing what God wants to say. He speaks to us many ways—in the inspiration and revelation in His Word, in the prophetic “still small voice,” in dreams and visions, in signs and wonders, just to name a few. This is why we need to have a solid prayer life, a life of communication with the Lord, as well as joint prayer times with people of like faith—expressing our adoration, thanks, and supplication as a body of believers. Together, as intercessors, we share in the proclamations of faith and in the declarations of God’s promises that overcomes the enemy of our faith for ourselves and others.

 

*Special thanks and acknowledgement to Dr. Geoff Wattoff for the phrase, “outsourcing prayer,” and to Dr. Rolland Baker for the phrase, “sustained unbelief.” Both phrases prompted my musings and capsulized some thoughts.

Copyright 2016 by Eva S. Benevento. All rights reserved.

 

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