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A Christmas Memory

Laying aside the spiritual meanings of Christmas for a moment, the holiday season can make your to-do list as long as Santa’s naughty—bake the cookies, assemble the fake tree or buy a live one, drag the decorations out of the storage, execute strategic shopping, wrap the gifts and try to make them pretty, and cook—a lot. Oh, and how about the traffic jam, the search for a parking spot, endless crowds of people, and the head-spinning blitz of holiday sales and come-ons everywhere. Just thinking about it is exhausting.

Some people actually look forward to “Black Friday” madness (didn’t even exist a few years ago) and a month of sappy Christmas movies. I don’t happen to be one of them. I’m not a glutton for stress, so, although it took a few years, I’ve managed to pare down the holiday hoopla to what is manageable for me while at the same time enjoy some special traditions.

With a few exceptions, my childhood memories of Christmas have melded into something like a rerun of your favorite movie. I do remember one in particular. I was about ten years old. My parents were European and so the whole Santa myth was not part of our celebration (We did St. Nicholas on December 6th). Our family tradition was to exchange presents after dinner on Christmas Eve and then we bundled up to go to the midnight mass at St. Stephen’s. It was special because it was the only night I was allowed to stay up so late.

At least a foot of snow had fallen a day before Christmas Eve. It was a “White Christmas” on steroids. I remember enjoying the squeaking and crunching sounds as we stomped and slid through mountains of icy snow. The gothic style church had colossal evergreen trees decorated with lead tinsel that shimmered in the candle light, and a large crèche prominent on a side altar. I made my way to the choir loft excited to sing the English and Hungarian carols we practiced for weeks. Sister Mary Aurelia was perched at the massive pipe organ. I was fascinated at how her fingers and feet glided over the rows of keys. The whole scene was something out of a Hallmark card—glowing light coming from stained glass windows on a snowy winter night.

No unusual or quirky stories came out of that Christmas, and so I wondered what made me remember that one in particular. It was not the presents, the food, the cookies, or the anticipation that is so often expected of children. I think it’s mostly the memory of the sound of crisp snow crackling beneath my boots, the bright reflection of crystal light from the shoveled piles along the sidewalk, the sparkle of candle light on the tinsel, and the joy of singing. The simple things.

I don’t think there is anybody who doesn’t know the reason why Christmas is celebrated. To some it’s just an old story about a Jewish couple who couldn’t get a room in Bethlehem’s only inn with added complications of the birth of their child in a stable. To others it’s the onset of fulfillment of ancient prophecy of humanity’s redemption, which is why the celebration has not only endured for well over a thousand years, but expanded exponentially.

Many express the dismay of the secularization of Christmas that has moved much of it from a holy day to a holiday to a business day. Nevertheless, how we keep Christmas, if at all, is about personal choices and faith. Taking the time to share the goodness and blessings in our lives and to reflect on what is important is a good thing for everyone regardless of beliefs. Enjoy the fun, the food, the family, the friends, and the faith—the reason I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

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The Ship, the Rock, and the Feast

Every November, the story of saints and sinners making the historic voyage on the Mayflower, landing at Plymouth Rock, and having a thanksgiving feast shared with indigenous Wampanoag people is celebrated throughout the U.S. Who doesn’t like a good story of courage in the face of impossible odds! But what is real and what is myth?

The Ship

Sailing season was over. Even so, 102 passengers, Captain Christopher Jones, and about 30 crew men crowded into the rickety old 180-ton cargo ship, the Mayflower, on September 6, 1620, headed for the new world to form what would become the first English permanent settlement. Roanoke was the first attempt, but turned out to be a complete catastrophe with no known survivors. Jamestown was not originally intended as a permanent settlement; it was a commercial enterprise and a social catastrophe, but that’s another story.

About half of the passengers aboard the Mayflower were religious Separatists, and the other half a collection of rough and tumble tradesmen looking for an opportunity to cash in on the possibility of new wealth in such things as beaver pelts. It was a horrendous crossing of delays, storms, starvation, disease, and death. Even so, 66 days later the ship and its survivors arrived, 200 miles north of their destination, with winter approaching and no chance of planting crops until spring. It was an unqualified disaster. Fewer than half survived.

The Rock

Location, location, location—that’s what real estate agents say. The traditional spot where the battered Plymouth Plantation survivors supposedly landed was memorialized by a rock engraved 95 years later in 1715, and is now enshrined in a granite canopy for tourists. However, let it be known that no mention of such a rock can be found in any of the primary documents. But it does make for a great myth.

The Feast

Over the centuries, that first feast has become layered with visions of a grand festival laden with harvest goodies—turkey, sweet potato, green bean casserole, cornbread, and pumpkin pie. Not so. There really was a feast, a harvest feast with the giving of thanks being the central idea, more than likely in September. It lasted three days after the first harvest according to Edward Winslow, one of the participants.

Attendees included the entire company of Mayflower survivors which were 22 men, 4 married women, and 25 children, joined by 90 Wampanoag people and their chief, Massasoit, who brought fresh deer meat to the celebration. These Native Americans were the ones who helped the beleaguered bunch to make it through the winter and seed their first plantings in spring. Without their help, Plymouth Plantation would have ended up like the earlier Roanoke Colony—a vanished mystery. Good thing they got along.

As to the menu, to be sure it was not what has become traditional Thanksgiving food. It would have included locally grown vegetables, seafood, and meats of wild animals. Winslow wrote of chestnuts, cranberries, garlic, and artichokes. Wild turkey could have been on the menu, but it was not mentioned.

Fast Forward

Thanksgiving was celebrated on various dates for about 250 years, but then finally became official as a national holiday on the fourth Thursday of November by President Lincoln’s proclamation of 1863. It was moved to the third Thursday in November by Franklin Roosevelt. In 1941, it was moved back to the fourth Thursday of November by Congress.

In 2020, it will be 400 years since that momentous voyage took place. Get ready for Massachusetts businesses to make it a marketing bonanza. I envision tourists all over Plymouth looking silly wearing tall black hats and buckled shoes, which, by the way, the first pilgrims did not wear. Nevertheless, we can take away some important ideas and lessons when celebrating such a defining moment in American history. I can think of three—giving thanks, community, and sharing.

Giving Thanks—the Ship

Like the ship that takes people from one place to another, giving of thanks takes us from the hustle of living to the place where we value the many graces we have been given. The main idea of the day by virtue of its name is for individuals to spend a moment to be grateful for something good. It could include life, love, friendship, family, provision, opportunity, health. Each of us has something that tops the list, but the ship of gratitude offers a course correction in priorities and attitudes useful for more than once a year. It keeps us humble and nurtures love for one another. Keep sailing.

Community—the Rock       

Rocks—boulders—are solid, stationary, fixed, dependable. Like the rock, community gives people a sense of stability and belonging. It’s a place where exchange of resources and commitment toward the betterment of everyone is played out. The first Thanksgiving was one that involved the entire community of the plantation as well as the wider community of neighbors. Getting along meant that neighbors were safer and that difference was a good thing. It’s a lesson this century is desperate to learn.

Sharing—the Feast  

Survival of those early settlers depended wholly on the Wampanoag people sharing their food and knowledge of how to plant that territory. The harvest feast was also one where sharing of food and table was central. Everyone has something to bring to the table—an important life lesson.

In a nation of such abundance, we are privileged to share. When storage becomes stuffed to overflowing and closet organization gizmos become a booming business, we must admit we simply have too much stuff. How many bags of pasta in the cupboard do we really need? Purging of excess is not only a healthy thing, it can mean much to someone in need.

On the other side of clutter is money spent on more needless stuff that can be diverted to help legitimate charities of all kinds, and not only once a year. The principle of seed-time and harvest is universal and so, a giving and sharing individual, as well as a nation, is one that will always prosper. It’s just the way the universe works.

Let this Thanksgiving be the one where the ship, the rock, and the feast translates into a lifestyle of being thankful, community minded, and generous. From our home to yours, we wish you and your loved ones a Happy Thanksgiving!

Copyright 2019 by Eva S. Benevento. All rights reserved.  

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

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God Speaks

            Imagine children looking for Daddy to have a conversation. The kids go to the couch where Daddy is and crawl up close next to him. They have always been told that Daddy is loving, kind, and wants only good things for his kiddos. One has many questions. Another wants his opinion on things. Another asks for something but already knows Daddy disapproves of it. Still, another wants something that may take some time to get. Daddy hears their chatter but says nothing. They wait. Still nothing. They repeat the scene. Still nothing.

            What would you conclude from the scene? Daddy is not interested in their prattle. Daddy is waiting for them to say or do something first, like give him obeisance or confess some error or transgression. Daddy is waiting for the kids to ask enough times before he answers. Daddy is unpredictable, whimsical, moody, or even mean. Daddy is a figment of their imagination and shouldn’t bother. The kids are confused and really don’t know Daddy. Any of these conclusions could be valid. Who would consider this father kind or loving?

            No doubt you’ve already guessed the issue is that of prayer—specifically hearing from God in prayer. I’ve often heard it said, “God answers yes, no, or keep asking until He’s ready to answer.” Worse yet, “Sometimes He just does not speak at all. It’s His tool to get you to figure it out for yourself.” These are easy answers that exonerate humans and lays the full weight of answered prayer on God. It portrays Him like the Daddy in the scenario I’ve given. Would you consider God this kind of father? When’s the last time someone said, “He always speaks; you don’t listen.” Ouch!

            These conclusions amount to people’s opinions. People’s well-intentioned opinions are just that—something to say when they don’t know what to say, or actually believe stuff someone else has said without checking it out with Scripture. What God said about it matters much more to me, so I did some searching.

            I found a place where Jesus as the incarnate man was silent. “Now the passage of Scripture which he was reading was this: ‘He was led as a sheep to slaughter; And as a lamb before its shearer is silent, So He does not open His mouth’ (Acts 8:32).” It is a prophetic reference to Jesus before His accusers before the Crucifixion, so not applicable to someone talking to God in prayer.

            The more compelling verses have to do with the supplicant sounding distraught and despondent.

  • To You, O Lord, I call; My rock, do not be deaf to me, For if You are silent to me, I will become like those who go down to the pit (Ps 28:1).
  •  “Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry; Do not be silent at my tears; For I am a stranger with You, A sojourner like all my fathers (Ps 39:12).
  • God, do not remain quiet; Do not be silent and, O God, do not be still (Ps 83:1).
  • God of my praise, Do not be silent! (Pa 109:1).

These verses don’t say God is silent. They entreat God to speak due to desperately needing to hear Him and being fearful if He doesn’t. The reader could infer the possibility that God may have been silent at some time in the past, but there is no definitive statement saying so. The word silent (Hebrew charash) in these verses carry the meaning of being cut off or not attending to the person. They are a cry for God’s intervention. In times of Israel’s apostasy, the nation’s prosperity and peace were cut off. It was due to their idolatry, not God’s lack (Deuteronomy 28). When Israel repented, God’s voice was heard.

            When people walk away from God, can they expect to hear? It’s so much easier to accuse God of not speaking than to quiet one’s soul and admit not hearing. Another example is in Isaiah’s prophetic words. How do we understand silent in Isaiah? Is God ignoring His people or is there something else going on?

  • Of whom were you worried and fearful When you lied, and did not remember Me Nor give Me a thought? Was I not silent even for a long time So you do not fear Me? (Is 57:11).
  • Will You restrain Yourself at these things, O Lord? Will You keep silent and afflict us beyond measure? (Is 64:12).
  • Behold, it is written before Me, I will not keep silent, but I will repay; I will even repay into their bosom (Is 65:6).

In these verses, silent (charash) carries the meaning to be quiet, to rest, to be still. It’s not about vocalizing, but rather about Israel believing their lack is due to God’s will. It accuses God for their afflictions rather than reaping the consequences of their apostasy and repenting of their idolatries so that they can be blessed (Deuteronomy 28).

            Who should really be silent? When we pray, we do a lot of talking, but do we give the Lord the space to talk?

  • [Job speaking to God] Teach me, and I will be silent; And show me how I have erred (Job 6:24).
  • But the Lord is in His holy temple. Let all the earth be silent before Him (Hab 2:20).
  • Be silent before the Lord God! For the day of the Lord is near, For the Lord has prepared a sacrifice, He has consecrated His guests (Zeph 1:7).
  • Be silent, all flesh, before the Lord; for He is aroused from His holy habitation (Zech 2:13).

God has already spoken volumes—66 books filled with His sayings fit for every circumstance. Jesus said, “Why do you not understand what I am saying? It is because you cannot hear My word (Jn 8:43).” Consider these verses:

  • Turn to my reproof, Behold, I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you (Prv 1:23).
  • Now then, my sons, listen to me And do not depart from the words of my mouth (Prv 5:7).
  • Now therefore, my sons, listen to me, And pay attention to the words of my mouth (Prv 7:24).
  • Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, And apply your mind to my knowledge (Prv 22:17).

Does this sound like a God who is not interested in talking to you?

            How can you hear the voice of God? God speaks through His Word—the Bible. “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you (Jn 14:26).” If you don’t read what He has said, you cannot hear or remember what Holy Spirit is saying to you through the written Word.

God also speaks through His prophets—real ones. The gift of prophecy is alive and well, only we need to know God’s Word to be able to discern when the prophet is speaking God’s Word or his/her imagination (Heb 4:12). God speaks in the inner witness and still small voice, only we must cultivate our hearing by spending time in prayer and study of His Word to be able to hear and understand the voice. On rare occasions, God speaks in an audible voice. God also speaks in visions, signs, wonders, and miracles, but we must be able to recognize them.

Ultimately, it is not God’s lack of voice. God says, “Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know (Jer 33:3).” Furthermore, Jesus said, “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you (Jn 15:7).” We need to abide in Him to cultivate our hearing. God is good and always available to speak with His children.

Copyright 2019 by Eva S. Benevento. All rights reserved.

Photo by Andrew Seaman on Unsplash.

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A Threefold Cord: Worship, Word, Works

Three things come to mind when I think about the Christian walk—worship, Word of God, works of kindness. “Two are stronger than one, and three are even more powerful. And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart (Ecc 4:12).”    

Worship

In Hebrew, the word shachah, translated as worship, means “to prostrate (especially reflexive, in homage to royalty or God):—bow (self) down, crouch, fall down (flat), humbly beseech, do (make) obeisance, do reverence, make to stoop, worship (Strong’s Definitions).” In Greek, the word proskuneo, means the same as the Hebrew. The words indicate attitude and the physicality that expresses it.

Why is this such a big deal? Humanity has been given two powerful attributes that can either be a blessing or a curse—free will and self-awareness, both operations of the soul realm. The soul is the switch that can either bless or curse the body and the spirit. When self-esteem is healthy, the person is happy in mind and body. On the contrary, when self-esteem is sick, then unhealthy pride reigns and drives the person to do destructive things to self and others. When the soul determines to put self-awareness under healthy control and submission to God, the spirit of a person has the opportunity to take ascendance. The spirit then yields to the Spirit of God, as in worship and prayer, God has access to bless.

We often think of worship as the act of singing, clapping hands, dancing, or shouting. These in and of themselves are not worship. These actions give us the language and expression of worship—the physicality, but worship starts and continues from the heart. Homage and reverence are issues of the heart, not of the flesh, but as physical beings connected to attitudes, physical responses naturally follow (hence, the clapping, singing, dancing, etc.).

Each of us, whether designated to lead a congregation in worship or the congregant, is responsible for what goes on in the heart. When the congregation as a whole merges their heartfelt reverence, adoration, and veneration of the Almighty, His Presence is welcome and manifests. The church body then experiences another threefold cord—God, the church, and the individual—coming together in unity.

Worship can also be a solitary act and a place of dwelling, where the spirit of an individual joins with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in communion and fellowship. This is the secret place of the Most High. This is where the “fervent effectual prayer of the righteous” takes place. Here is where you talk to God and He talks to you. Here is where you can ask and nothing according to His Will and Word is denied you. “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty (Ps 91:1).”

All of the precious promises that are contained in Psalm 91 belong to those who DWELL in the secret place of the Most High God. Dwell does not mean visit on occasion. Dwell means that you live there. It’s the place of frequent abiding. It’s the place where you draw your strength; your nourishment; a place where you rest; a place where you give your care, attention, work; and a place where you converse with others who are there.

Word of God

God gave us His Word so that we can know His character, His nature, and His dealings with mankind as a model of what is righteous. He did not leave us up to our own imaginations, creative as they may be, to figure out the world of the Spirit.

Left to our own devices, vain imaginations have led humanity to create a plethora of idols to explain the supernatural. We have the remnants of that even today, not only in idolatrous culture but in syncretistic practices that purport to be Christian. Vain imaginations have crept into doctrines by way of top-down leadership, those who were more interested in power and wealth than the truth in the Word.

The Church has felt the effects of syncretism for centuries, ever since early ecclesiastical tyrants peppered sound doctrine with superstition. Corrupt leaders in past ages have been known to compromise truth with pagan beliefs to get more bodies into the building and resources into the coffers. But they are not alone in perverting the truth. Multiple examples of church leaders of every stripe start out right, but go off into heresies and end up in disgrace with wounded followers. Some are extreme as in the case of Jim Jones and the catastrophe in Guyana. Others are more subtle and insidious where the destruction goes on for decades and even generations.

It is absolutely imperative that believers know and follow the Word of God as the primary source of knowing who God is, and what His Will is for mankind. How can we stand on His promises if we don’t know them? God is unchangeable, but if we don’t know Him, we cannot rely on His faithfulness. We know this God because of what He has said and done throughout the ages.

Knowing about Him in His Word, and furthermore, knowing Him in the intimacy of prayer, allows His presence to rule and reign in our lives. How can we walk in the power He has promised if we don’t know what it is and that it belongs to us? How do we answer life’s challenges and pesky questions without being grounded in the knowledge of life’s manual? God’s Word is not only a manual for living; it is also the source that affirms a living relationship with Him.

Words have power. When God spoke the universe into existence, it manifested. Incidentally, the word He spoke is still creating – the universe is expanding. We have been given the power to speak life or death over circumstances, and those words have power, whether or not you are a believer. As Jesus declared, “. . . It is written, ‘MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD’ (Mt 4:4).”

On an atomic level, sound and light are made up of waves. When the vibration of the waves hit a certain frequency, sound becomes light. All matter is moving at a specific wavelength. When the vibration is in agreement with the intended object’s atomic make-up, it comes into being. Sound wacky? Well, even if we don’t understand all of it, and I assure you I don’t, we know that God holds the universe in His Hand and has designed it to function according to His specifications. He has told believers to command, to take authority over evil, and to heal in Jesus Name. When we, in faith believing His Word, act upon it, we walk in this authority and have the full expectation of successful outcome.

Works of Kindness

Lastly, the third strand has to do with what we know and believe—the works of the Kingdom. I must emphasize that our good works as believers are not intended to impress God or earn His approval or affirmation. We do the works He gives us to do because of His grace and mercy upon our lives out of obedience, humility, and love for Him.

New Testament epistles are dedicated to instructions about how we should live in relationship not only to God, but to each other. People were never intended to be a lone creature. We are social creatures that depend on one another for emotional and physical support. The first apostles gave us principles of kindness by which we relate to our families, in our workplaces, in our churches, and out in the marketplaces.

We are equipped with instructions about how we are to lead, what our attitudes should be, and how we are to work together to advance the Kingdom. We indeed are responsible for helping one another grow in grace and success in living. That may include first giving the man a fish, but then, more importantly, teaching him how to fish.

Everybody has gifts, talents, and abilities, as well as a place to function in the Kingdom of God. When we are functioning accordingly, the body is healthy and the Kingdom is advanced. Not all are called to teach or to preach. Some are called to ministries of mercy; some are gifted in the area of finance to support the works of the Kingdom; some are called to administrative works; some are called to leadership ministry work as described in Ephesians 4; some are called to artistic works; all are called to pray, help, and love.

Whatever the call or talent may be, all are important to God and should be to us. He gives the assignments and we simply hear and obey. None is considered too insignificant. He does not judge greatness the same way mankind does. His judgment is righteous and is according to faithfulness. All of the works that are Kingdom-minded are acts of kindness because they follow the nature of God, for He is kind.

Imagine the church where the three-cord of Worship, Word, Works are fully functioning. With God’s grace, power, and direction, we seek to accomplish all that He has called us to do, and we are believing for the natural and human resources sent from heaven to accomplish it.

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Alternative Shopping

Are there alternatives to what shopping has become? Malls the size of your home town mesmerize consumers with enough merchandise, diversions, and food to keep you there all day and half the night buying more and more stuff you think you need but really don’t. It’s not just an American phenomenon. It’s global!

Let’s face it, we are spoiled. Need to go somewhere? Just jump in the car and off you go. We don’t have to walk for miles carrying buckets to haul water. Without much thought, we simply go to a faucet and water comes out. We’ve controlled the inner environment so that we have warmth in winter and cool in summer by just clicking a few buttons, and our food only spoils in refrigeration when we neglect to use it. Things we buy? Over packaged with layers of plastics and tags. And let’s not forget the mountain of disposables.

To decrease personal wastefulness and carbon footprint we’ve been encouraged to incorporate the 5Rs:  REFUSE, RECYCLE, REDUCE, REUSE, and ROT (compost). You can refuse to purchase disposables, produce wrapped in plastic, and such. Refill that non-disposable water bottle instead of using one-use water bottles. Recycle the plastics, glass, metals, and paper that you can’t avoid. Reduce overall consumerism. How many tee shirts do you really need? Reuse (and repair) whatever you can—like a washcloth instead of paper towel. Rot—well that’s about composting when and if you can.

The internet is loaded with ideas. It seems easy enough to accommodate when it comes to shopping, food packaging, and such, but the Rs can also pertain to home furnishings. Well, rot may only apply to wood and fabrics being biodegradable. But why would you even want plastic furniture? Here are some other Rs: revamp, restore, refinish, repurpose, refurbish, reupholster, renovate.

Furniture

Why buy furniture made of cheap materials that you need an engineering degree to assemble when you can buy well-made classic pieces for a fraction of the cost? You can rescue some of grandma’s furniture from ending up in the clean-out guy’s dumpster or try auctions, garage sales, charity shops, thrift shops, online markets, and even curbside shopping at a ridiculously low cost. It may take a bit of time to find the right piece, but worth it and the hunt is fun. Just think of the great treasure hunt stories each piece can tell.

As a precaution, used furniture, especially upholstered furniture, needs to be thoroughly cleaned and disinfected—very easy with all-wood pieces. Soap is your friend. Never buy used mattresses. First of all, in my state, it is illegal, which doesn’t stop some people. Things with fabrics have the potential of housing microscopic and unwanted six-legged creatures. Yuck! But on to better things.

Recently, mid-century modern is the popular taste along with chunky sofas. Oak is out; teak is in. Interest in Victoriana, Early American, or classics from before the nineteenth century has been replaced by metal and pressed sawdust, purely functional. No fuss, no craftsmanship, nothing to spark curiosity. But remember—styles do not have to match! In fact, rooms are far more interesting when they don’t. You can add an interesting antique piece in a mostly contemporary setting or mixing ethnic styles (like African or Asian pieces mixed with Scandinavian).

Videos on the internet give step-by-step directions on DYI projects if you want to change the look. If you are not inclined to do it yourself, barter with a friend that does. Here are some furniture Rs:

  1. Revamp, restore, and refinish—paint, stains, a new coat of lacquer, shabby distressing, or change of hardware can transform a chest, dresser, coffee table, and more.
  2. Repurpose a piece. Adding legs or shortening pieces, removing some parts or replacing with something else are just a few ways of changing the original purpose of a piece. A piece of glass transforms a trunk into a coffee table. Drawers removed can transform a chest into a bookcase. Check out those DYI projects on the internet.
  3. Refurbish and reupholster. Changing the upholstery on chair seats is only a matter of removing the old one, adding some new foam padding, and stapling new fabric. Large chairs and sofas are big projects and can be costly, so only worth it if the piece has good bones.

Housewares

You can buy fabulous high-quality china, glass, flatware, and serving pieces at a very low price tag, sometimes even less than paper products at your local thrift shops and non-traditional shopping sources. Just recently I saw antique beautifully hand-decorated china serving pieces for a dollar each at a local garage sale. Too bad I don’t need any more.

Why not use the Rosenthal, Wedgwood, or Lenox every day? Why not drink your favorite beverage out of Waterford or Baccarat crystal? I must admit I do like matched china most of the time, but really, why does everybody’s place setting always have to match? Why not have a glass salad plate with a floral china dinner plate? If a piece breaks, it’s not a big deal when you’ve paid pennies on the dollar by alternative shopping.

Yes, you will have to wash them, but it takes less effort to wash a stack of dishes than it does to rinse, load, unload, run the wash, and often dry the contents of the dishwasher. I haven’t used my dishwasher in years.  

Home décor

Why buy bad art and flimsy prints at a discount store when you can buy paintings and etchings by listed artists for the same amount and oftentimes less at auction? Prints are okay, but do you really want décor that is so overdone it gets ignored or looking like the discount furniture store with no personality? It doesn’t have to be an artist whose works hang in world-renowned museums to be a good work of art. The same principle works for objet d’art (things that are not paintings).

You educate your eye by reading and visiting museums, but you don’t necessarily have to own pieces that would hang there. And it doesn’t have to be a work by a dead artist. I bought a painting by a Majorca living artist at auction for $90. When I got home, I checked out his work on the internet and found his paintings go for thousands in Spain, but unknown here. Hey, I’m okay with that. You just need to develop a good eye and not limit yourself to artists that everybody in the universe knows.

I do have some prints too, but they amount to the few I’ve kept since my younger and more impressionable years that have personal meaning. Of course, it comes down individual taste, and the question, would you rather have five department store prints to quickly fill up your wall and eventually have the same fate as Elvis paintings on velvet, or one decent painting?

As stewards of the planet, we’ve been doing a pretty lousy job in spite of some marginal efforts to care about the only home we have. Whatever your style or preferences are, every effort on your part to lower your carbon imprint matters. Information to that end is abundant and easily available. We share the planet and have some responsibility to preserve what we can for future generations. These ideas may not appeal to you, but for the planet’s sake, start somewhere!

2019 Copyright by Eva Benevento. All rights reserved.

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7 Ways to Play Nicely on Social Media

Like it or not, social media is a fixture as a communication vehicle. It means instant contact with individuals or massive numbers all at the same time. Useful on so many levels and amazing, but the media has issues surrounding security, anonymity, higher risk of being misunderstood, and obnoxious behavior. To play nicely, etiquette using the media comes down to common sense—the things you learned in kindergarten.


Keep It Relevant, Clear, and Short

Respond to the question, statement, or image, and avoid adding an extraneous rant—unless it’s entertaining. That also means you have to interpret the prompt accurately. Rabbit trails are great in live conversations, but annoying on timeline feeds. Choosing the right words can make a world of difference in how the message is received. Before you hit the send button, reread it and ask yourself, “Is this really what I want to say?” Thesaurus.com is your friend. Unless it’s an article, a website link, or a blog, which the reader can recognize up front, keep the comments short and to the point. “Brevity is the soul of wit (Hamlet, Act 2, Shakespeare).”


Review Prior Responses

Read former responses. Get a better idea of the various positions in the discussion. You may decide that it’s not worth jumping into the fray. If you have to take a side, you have some options. You can spend a lot of time, energy, and emotional capital on defending your position with people who are not going to change their minds no matter what you say. What a waste! Really, when the post is too much, understand that stupid or crazy may be fixable, but certainly not on a post. If want to opine and you don’t want to get into back-and-forth squabble, you can just click an icon.


Keep It Civil

Humor, sarcasm, and being snarky can be funny and entertaining when it’s obviously intended to be entertaining, but not when it is crude or a personal attack targeting another responder. You don’t need to vilify someone who does not agree with you. Address the issue without slinging mud at your friend’s friend. You’re not likely to change anybody’s mind about something—especially very controversial issues (baseball, politics, religion). When it gets too hot, it’s time to just delete it from your feed, and maybe even unfriend someone who keeps posting stuff that causes your ears to blow steam.


Images Speak Loud

While we’re on the subject of civility, consider the images. Who really wants to see someone you know in a hospital bed with tubes sticking out from every orifice imaginable? We get enough of that on TV but we know it’s fake. You want shock value to evoke pity, but can we at least be sensitive to the person who may not want the world to see all that drama? Recently I made a comment on a post that was railing against porn. I agreed with the sentiment. I commented that the accompanying risqué image intended as an example furthered the very thing the post was criticizing. The person posting it became very defensive and I used my delete option. Gotta love that button!

Check the Accuracy

You don’t want to look like a fool or ignoramus (not that I’m name-calling), and fake news is often made to look real. Information for fact checking is readily available, but get your information from reliable sources. If you can’t fact check, at least leave some wiggle room with words like maybe, sometimes, and possibly, or phrases like “I think” or “in my opinion.”

Grammar Matters

Unless you are posting in another language or to a specific audience, keep it in standard English and spelled correctly within reason. Typos do happen (the bane of writers) and there’s grace for that, but it’s hard to respect a post that needs translation within the same language. If this is a weak area, you can always write it on a word document, spell check and grammar check, fix what needs fixing, copy and post. It’s a bit of effort and you decide if it’s worth it. Oh, and remember that writing in all caps means you are SHOUTING.

Delete, Snooze, Block, Unfriend

If you don’t want to look like a jerk-by-association because someone else’s irritating response on your feed may imply that you agree with it, just get rid of it. Delete, snooze, block, and unfriend are okay. You have options. Don’t feel guilty when you have to use one of them. You are in control of your account.

We must remember that the internet is public and permanent. I can’t emphasize this enough. Be very careful posting images that identify children and their locations. Pedophiles are out there. Posting your vacation plans can mean an empty house and potential burglary. Images that embarrass or degrade someone are not only in bad taste, they are hurtful. Like I said, it’s all common sense. No condemnation. Just play nicely—or else! (hehehehehe)

image by: sergi-kabrera-2xU7rYxsTiM-unsplash.jpg

Copyright 2019 by Eva Benevento. All rights reserved.

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A Senior Just Sayin’

            Being a senior citizen is way over-rated, just sayin’. For the accumulation of surviving child-rearing, lifelong job stress, and overall life management, so many retirees come across as having earned the right to complain about how life was better when they were younger—even though the memory of better days past are only good in hindsight when the present gets too complicated or irrelevant. Hardships and injustices in times past are for lectures to the young about “when I was young, we had to _____  (you fill in the blank). That’s when the “good old days” were really the tough and gritty old days.

Nostalgia is a funny thing. You forget the things that made you cry when nobody was looking. You forget the reason you finally understood why there are speed limits on roads. You forget the reason why the high school reunion is more of a curiosity than a good time had by all. You’re glad that hair curlers are a thing of the past, but wonder why you thought big teased hair was attractive. You hide your high school yearbook—God forbid someone should actually see it—but wonder why it never made its way to the curb.

In our nostalgic reverie, we get very selective about the things that are lost to the present world, wanting to mentally relive the things that make us feel good—like when you can’t figure out what just happened to your computer, and how to navigate the insane world of phone apps. Hey, give me a break—I went to school with a fountain pen! Just recently I found myself explaining how a typewriter works to a group of college kids who had no clue.  Some things we either don’t see any more or if so, it’s rare enough to be a novelty. So, indulge me if I do a bit of reminiscing.

Dressing Up. Yep, people actually got dressed up in their “nice” clothes to go shopping, to religious services, to doctor appointments, whenever it meant leaving the house. Everybody wore hats—men, women, kids—and some were pretty outrageous. Gloves were part of the outfit, not only for winter warmth. Kids changed their school clothes into play clothes when they came home. Women mostly wore dresses, not pants. Many didn’t even own any. But you forget about using clear nail polish to stop a run in your nylons. Wearing provocative low cut or tight form-fitting clothing was a no-no that presumed naughty-not-nice character, which may still be true in some cases—hard to tell and I’m not going there. Perhaps a blog for another day.

People didn’t get uptight when a friend just dropped in unexpectedly. It didn’t matter that the house may have been a little disheveled. If you were cooking, you continued until you were finished while engaging in conversation. The friend pitched in and washed the dishes. If it was supper time, you just added more settings. No big deal. There was always room for one more. Saturday night was time for friends and family gatherings – a card game or watching a TV show together with a large bowl of popcorn. Society folk had cocktail parties, but not having grown up with the hoity-toity class, I only know about them from black and white movies.

Restaurants were fewer in number and fine dining out for the average family was reserved for very special occasions. A diner was a place where home-style cooking could be had for a reasonable price—not complicated. Diners now have menus that resemble the great American novel. It takes a full half hour to read the multiple pages and then decide on a BLT and coffee because a hundred choices are just too much. Luncheonettes offered simple but hearty breakfast and lunch menus, no dinner. Some department stores like Woolworths had lunch counters where you could grab a quick sandwich and apple pie. Ice cream parlors sometimes offered simple meals besides ice cream sundaes, cones, and milkshakes.

Today’s folks get together for dinner at a restaurant, but back then, people had dinner parties at home. It put a lot of pressure on women to prepare a killer meal (not literally) with the right accouterments. Yep, women most often did the cooking. Men now share some of that, but I’m not sure that’s changed as much as we think. Dining etiquette was expected—no boarding house reach, no eating with fingers, and no chewing with open mouths “like a cow.” Families actually ate together every evening where kids learned table manners and dining conversation. Imagine having dinner without cell phones in hand.

Kid culture was more outside than in. Street roller skating (the kind that needed a key to tighten the skate on your shoes), hopscotch, box ball, punch ball, stickball, all kinds of tag, and rope jumping rhymes were taught by kids for kids. Play dates did not exist and nobody feared being kidnapped. Here’s where you learned the balance between winning and fairness. Nobody expected a trophy for showing up.

And then there were the safety patrol kids who stood on critical corners charged to help other kids cross safely. They were identified by their special white patrol belts. It was very cool to be a patrol kid. Now senior citizens get to wear the patrol vests and carry stop signs to stop traffic for pedestrians. Maybe they were patrol kids.  

Lots of other things define a time long gone – milk bottles regularly delivered in a special box at your door. Local newspapers flung on your doorstep by a kid on a bike or walking with a huge newspaper bag was common. Every local hair salon had its special uniform for its employees. I could go on and on, but quaint has short appeal. I’ve come to the conclusion that life is not just surviving until you get to collect Social Security.

The promise of the “golden years” as a destination is like a ring in your jewelry box that was 10K gold filled—shiny but worthless. Being a senior is not a destination. It has challenges just as youth and middle age did, only now they are different. Even though I get nostalgic now and then, I don’t want to waste time commiserating about how great things were. I want to enjoy the best of the present. I get to “bust my buttons” about every little thing my grown kids do that make me so proud of them. I get to believe that my adorable little granddaughter has a bright future and I get to be a part of that. The conclusion is pretty simple: LIFE IS ALWAYS GOOD.

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What’s in a Name

I’ve often wondered why people shorten names or have nicknames. Parents earnestly deliberate over what to name their child only to have their Anthony become Tony, John become Jack (I could never figure that one out), Allison to Ally, Elizabeth to Liz, Lizzie, or Beth. An “i,” “y,” or “ie” gets added to change Paul to Paulie, Patricia to Patty, or Charles to Charlie. At least those are somewhat related to the original names. What about completely unrelated nicknames like Buddy or Cookie. Do parents feel like they’ve gotten the name choice wrong?

My name is short—only three letters—E-V-A. It’s is not a shortened version of Evaline, Evangeline, or Eva-Marie. Nope, just three letters and no middle name. You would think that should be pretty simple. Not so. Phonetically, I’m called Ee-vah (long e sound), Ay-vah (long a sound), Ay-fah (German pronunciation), Ay-fee, Eh-vah, Ee-vee, and even just plain E by a sibling. Eva is not a common name in these environs. I think I’ve actually met five others in my entire lifetime. I get a lot of “Huh? Is that short for something else?” which is okay. A few rude people have actually said things like, “So, it’s all your fault that people sin” (referring to Adam and the Garden), in a stupid attempt at humor. Did they actually think I would be amused?

Child naming gets really interesting with various traditions. Whenever a royal has a baby, the whole journalist world has a field day proposing the name of the new heir to the monarchy, and it’s usually accompanied by a string of middle names.  An Italian tradition is naming children after their grandparents. When you are in a room full of Italians and call out Anthony, twenty guy cousins and uncles answer. In some traditions, kids are named after a relative that has passed away to keep that memory alive. Some names have a religious context. Just consider the numbers of biblical names – Mary, Joseph, James, Elizabeth, Peter, Aaron, Nathan, Hannah, Joshua and so many more.  Some people pick names after nature – Ocean, Storm, or flowers—Rose, Lily, Daisy, or newly-created ones.

I didn’t like my name growing up because it was so different, but now that I know its meaning (Hebrew chavah – life giving), I’m quite okay with it. In 2014, according to Social Security registry of newborn girls, Eva ranked 82 with 3,651 girls named Eva. Looks like it’s gained a bit in popularity but what are the chances of any of those 3,651 girls meeting? I sometimes wonder what something like Jennifer or Emma (currently ranked number one in U.S. popularity) would have been like.

Shakespeare wrote in Romeo and Juliet, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” I don’t think that irrelevance works for people. Names are imbedded in a person’s identity. The meaning of a name, then, is really important. Each time a person’s name is called, it becomes a declaration of something for them. Biblical names particularly are often prophetic. Adam means man, an appropriate one for the first one. Joshua (yehoshua) means Jehovah is salvation, same name as Jesus.

Names are used in expressing authority. An employee operates within the scope of the supervisor’s authority. We do things on behalf of another and use their name. Jesus gave His followers authority to invoke His name—a name like none other. “Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it” (Jn 14:13—14). Further on, “You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you” (Jn 15:16). It goes without saying, that since God does not violate His Word, the requests against His declared will are not heard.

Jesus—I really love this name way more than any other.

 

Copyright 2018 by Dr. Eva S. Benevento. All rights reserved.

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The Unfriendly Skies: A Travel Rant

Travel is no longer special. Long ago, taking a trip to another country was considered something like a once-in-a-lifetime event. The exponential availability of travel for the ordinary person has produced larger aircraft, more airports, and an industry in constant need of keeping the cost of travel within an affordable range, which includes narrow seats, limited luggage, and charges for things once enjoyed by everyone. Large airports have become mini-cities with all kinds of shops, eateries, and accommodations for a burgeoning number of travelers. Navigating through the throngs of people on the security line, dragging in-flight luggage, too few bathrooms on the plane, seatbelts made for miniature people, and complications of multiple flight stops and visa entry points can be a nuisance. But I think that fellow travelers who don’t behave well are much more annoying, and this is my chance to rant about it.

Seat Pullers

You’re on a 15-hour flight to Hong Kong. Dinner has been served, lights are out, and most people enter into “flight coma” for the next ten hours—except the dude behind you who has to get up every hour or so. It would be okay if he would only get up on his own, but no—he has to pull himself up by yanking your seat in front of him. It continually wakes you up from the possibility of some solid sleep.

Non-stop Talkers

Traveling with a companion is comforting and conversation is part of that, but endless chatter at a volume that invites the immediate world to know the details of your life or gossip is much more than we want to know. And the screechy voice (though beyond the control of the talker), grates on nerves like fingernails scratching a blackboard. It gives noise-canceling headphones a serious consideration.

Personal Space Invaders

Personal space is a cultural issue. Americans tend to need more physical personal space than those in cultures where populations are at epic proportions. We get that and for the most part, compartmentalize the need for wide space. However, the ones who carry monumentally stuffed backpacks that bang into people as they maneuver narrow airplane aisles without any awareness that they are walking battering rams, are the ones who provoke eye-rolling. Would it kill someone to hand carry the backpack until they either stuff it into the overhead compartment or while getting off the plane?

Wheelchair Abusers

It’s not only a nice gesture but probably a legal requirement for airlines to accommodate people with physical challenges. It’s the right thing to do. Who doesn’t understand that! However, I find it amusing that the same seniors who just spent hours strolling through the airport suddenly have a need to be wheeled into the airplane in order to get seated first. I’ve seen up to 16 wheelchairs lined up at the gate. It’s the same ones who suddenly have the strength to race to the baggage claim area and toddle off with loads of luggage. It doesn’t seem fair to those who legitimately need the accommodation.

Unruly Children

Traveling with children is not easy—ever. Babies and toddlers cry and get cranky, especially during take-off and landing when air pressure affects ears. Just recently I was on a flight where a toddler had a booming voice like a football coach and he screamed for a half hour each way. As annoying as that is, you feel sympathy for the parent trying everything imaginable to quiet the child. Unruly older children, whose parents have abdicated all responsibility to control their little urchins, are the kids who pound or kick other people’s seats, run up and down the aisles, blast video games, or find it amusing to flip the table tray up and down. Even so, you can’t get mad at the kids. It’s their inconsiderate parents who plop themselves down and can’t imagine that their little darlings are riding everybody else’s last nerve. No Bueno!

And More

The list of obnoxious behaviors seems to get longer each time I fly, like people who put their feet (sometimes bare) all over the backs of the seats in front of them, or people who have no clue what good table manners look like. I remember one flight where upon leaving the aircraft, the flight attendants actually apologized to me for the chaos some of the passengers created near me. The good news is that the flight does end and once you get past the baggage claim and visa entry, you are off to your destination and the madness is behind you. Bon voyage!

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Ministry Today

Identifying ministry used to be a lot easier. The categories were simple—you were either a pastor or an evangelist on the domestic scene, and if perchance you ventured out of the country, you were a missionary. Within the local church, you might encounter Sunday School teachers, elders, or deacons. It was a paradigm out of the nineteenth century that carried pretty much into about two-thirds of the twentieth century. Then again, life in general was simpler and slower in most societal contexts. The post WWII atomic age changed everything. Specialization became the new way to do things–in the church too.

Since the exponential growth of the Charismatic Movement and its multiple iterations of the latter third of the twentieth century, ministry specialization changed dramatically and appears to have no end to its evolution. Now ministry titles and positions include worship leader, prophets (of various types), intercessor, dance ministry, dream interpreter, apostle (of various types), exhorter, short-term missionary, itinerant preacher, conference speaker, visual arts ministry, administrative pastors, counseling pastors, teaching pastors, and to be sure, many more I haven’t mentioned. God does give gifts of varying kinds to His people and we are all served better when each one does what God calls him/her to do. There’s a place for each one, and now even a title for everyone. Titles don’t mean a whole lot to me, but I think involvement by everyone is a good thing—unless it becomes the main thing.

When the focus of ministry becomes the development of expertise, uniqueness, specialization, or any other defining attribute instead of centered on hearing and obeying the voice of God, you can be sure that error will follow. Excellence is a good thing, and I certainly encourage it, but when it becomes the central goal, ministry loses its purpose and becomes performance. Great performances could be inspiring and most definitely entertaining, but truthfully, I gladly give up perfect performances for Jesus-centered ministry. It would be great to have both, but really, how often does that happen?

So frequently I read postings on social media that say things like: “Wow, the worship was off the hook!” or “What an awesome service! God really showed up!” (as if God was on vacation somewhere and decided to make a random visit). God now gets a weekly rating and rave reviews on Facebook or Twitter when the audience gets hyper-emotional or bizarre. Have we lost the meaning of why we gather? Shouldn’t we always expect the presence of God when we gather to worship Him?

I love when people sense the presence of God and respond with passion, but drumming up a frenzy with pounding, deafening music, together with smoke machines and special blitz lighting effects, and calling it worship is quite another thing. Worship for me is not about music at all. Isn’t worship supposed to be about adoring God—in Spirit and truth?

And has anyone noticed the “I-me-my” repetitiveness of current lyrics? Okay, so I’m not a millennial, a gen-X, Y, or Z. I’m from the “boomer” generation. I’m not looking to recoup the good old days, which by the way, were not so good, but are definitely old. I willingly want to learn new songs and rhythms, but I want them to glorify and honor Jesus. I want to sing songs with fellow believers that exalt the magnificence of the Lord (and I know those songs are out there somewhere), not just whining about brokenness, self-journey, or “my” whatever.

A song I heard recently went like this: “This is the way I battle.” That’s it. One sentence sung at least 25 times with no exaggeration. No context, no mention of God, Jesus, or the Spirit. I had no clue what “this” is, nor what the battle is, not to mention the fact the Jesus and the Word of God is my victory in all matters. The next two seemingly endless sung phrases were about it looking like being surrounded, but really being surrounded by him. Well, okay—surrounded by what or whom? And the “him” is left to conjecture. I cannot imagine what visitors could conclude from this murmuring dirge of single sentences over and over. Does anyone find this disturbing?

I want everyone in the Body of Christ to function in their gifts and calling, but setting up a paint studio on the church platform during a worship service and calling it prophetic painting? Really? If we conclude that painting is prophetic because the painter is inspired presumably by God, then all prayer, preaching, teaching, healing, dreaming, dancing, and every facet of living is also prophetic. Why then would we need prophets? What is prophecy, and how is it uniquely different from other ways God communicates with His people? I’m a firm believer in the prophetic, but my understanding of prophecy is what I read in Scripture—God communicating a specific message to His people (foretelling and/or telling forth) on a specific matter for edification, exhortation, and consolation (1 Cor 14:3). God gave Moses the pattern for a beautiful temple, but was that prophecy? Painting metaphoric pictures can be inspirational and talented artists do produce beauty and meaningful images, but calling it prophecy and imposing doctrine to give it validity or affirmation takes it to a whole other place.

Worshiping with all your might—yes, that includes dance—is wonderful. I want spirit-led dance for all believers, but now we have women (and very few men) dressed in sparkly costumes flinging flags on fishing poles, waving silky cloth, and carrying props like bespangled banners, swords, and crowns in processions while the audience watches the spectacle. I have real difficulty imagining all of this in the Upper Room of Acts or the churches of the early apostles. It really comes down to the same issue as the 8th-century conflict over the use of icons between iconoclasts and iconodules—an issue that keeps resurfacing in different forms throughout the centuries (huge in the Reformation). When I hear and read doctrines made about banners as “warfare praise,” whatever that is supposed to mean, I get nervous. Syncretism (merging of cultural or pagan practices into religious practice) is an insidious thing and creeps into the church life of well-meaning but biblically unaware souls.

I don’t think that the Spirit is easily grieved by our well-intended foolishness or grandiose concepts about what is glorious to God. If past historical cycles of excess and reformation are indicators of how we interpret and do church, I think a new Spirit-led reformation of believers who want the simple presence of God sans man-made claptrap may be on the horizon. When I travel to remote places where people do not have access to fancy living and all of the accoutrements of digital age technology in their churches, I see them worship from the simplicity of heart. The wealthy West can learn much from poor bush villages.

Far from being a luddite or cranky old lady who doesn’t like change, I simply like to stop and reflect on what we do and why we do it. I welcome the upcoming generations to express their love for God in ways that I may not have conceived, particularly when it glorifies God and is biblically sound. I believe we can have church life that includes multiple generations who find worth, honor, and appreciation among them. But for that to happen, we must keep our focus on the author and finisher of our faith—Jesus—instead of perfecting the products of our cultural demands.

Dr. Eldon Wilson, a Spirit-filled minister of well over 50 years, distills our faith into three Ws—worship, witness, and work. It’s a simple yet profound message. Simple ones usually are. As followers of Christ, we are called to worship God alone in Spirit and in truth; live our lives as a witness of the power of God unto salvation (holiness); and to do the works He calls us to do (like pray, preach the gospel, heal the sick, raise the dead, deliver the oppressed, bring justice for the widow and orphan—stuff that’s in the Bible). Instead of asking “What would Jesus do?” to provoke imagination, we might ask, “What did God say?” in His Word about what we call ministry and church life. Ultimately, that is what matters. His Word is final and eternal.

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